Thursday, April 28, 2011

Block FF, Row B, Grave 11

I hate funerals. That's a strong word. Grossly dislike. Maybe because it seems like I've had my fair share. Today was one of those days.

A few weeks ago we got a mailing from St. Francis, the local hospital I visited for 15 hours when I had my miscarriage. Another day I grossly disliked. I vaguely remember signing a paper indicating our preference of what to do with the baby before being wheeled into surgery. This mailing was a result of that choice.

Opening the letter, it took my breath away in surprise to read they were having a funeral service for those who had experienced a recent miscarriage and the babies would be buried together.

Shannon and I decided it would be helpful for another piece (or peace) of closure on the situation. Then I put it out of my mind. It caught me off guard today when I was explaining to the kids that after lunch, they would take a nap and mom and dad were going to talk to God about the little brother or sister they almost had.

I wasn't sure what to expect as we wound our way through the cemetery. A few friends from our small group were there waiting to support us--a pleasant and comforting surprise. A line of cars had already formed and a group of people were huddled in and around the tent. Music was playing; a woman approached me with a stack of papers and a momento for the occasion. A small casket was at the front of the tent with a bouquet of white flowers draped on top. She encouraged me to sit in one of the green velvet-covered chairs in the tent. I just couldn't bring myself to occupy one of those seats. I didn't expect it to be so much like...well, a funeral.

As the service started, he explained some formalities about how we could place flowers, teddy bears, blankets, or other items we may have brought on the gravesite for the next 3 months...until they had another service. We looked out over the grassy field that was reserved for the burial of babies for years to come. Hard to fathom. They didn't have room for grave stones so a single monument is erected in memory of all babies buried there.

The funeral was simple. But nice. And respectful. Families grieved on various levels. At the end, we had the opportunity to write a note to our baby on the casket in permanent marker. It took a few minutes before the first person had the courage to step out and initiate. Some families had older children who also wrote notes to the sibling they lost.

Buried in the ground in Block FF, Row B, Grave 11 at St. Mary's Cemetery is a small white casket with a wooden cross on top containing our words..."Our miracle--forever in our hearts"..."See you in heaven Baby Mo --Dad"

Adam with no nap

What a strange day. Sara was up at 6. Adam got up at 7. Usual wake up time is around 8. They were bickering with each other off and on in the morning. I tried to lay them down for a nap early but they were jumping in their crib and banging on the wall. We read another book. It turned out that Sara fell asleep for 90 min. Adam never napped. I can't remember the last time Adam hasn't napped. I left at 4:15 for a haircut and got back at 5:15 to hear Sara saying "sleepin". I wondered what time Adam would crash. This is what I came home to...

He had crawled in Sara's high chair while Shannon was cutting strawberries for dinner. Ivy interrupted with needing a potty break. When Shannon came back, Adam was asleep and Sara was making the announcement.

Monday, April 25, 2011

2 years already?

Dear Adam and Sara...

When you are reading this down the road and learning about your life growing up, I'm sure you will forgive the fact that I am writing about your birthday 23 days late. I have gotten caught up in the crazy world of taking care of you, working 25 hours a week at the same time, and still trying to keep our house running. I would have to tell you that I have days that I am absolutely exhausted, famished because you eat half my lunch, and impatient when dealing with the early stages of the 2's. But this is the life that God has blessed me with and I would fight with everything I have in me to let go of it just a little.

To my first-born handsome son Adam Joseph...I prayed over you tonight before bedtime, thanking God for making you so loving. I hope you keep that soft-hearted spirit as you grown into a strong man and a great leader of people. You are definitely a mama's boy who loves his snuggles and all the different kinds of hugs we have made up. You love to explore and are always on the move or busy figuring something out. Food is no challenge as you eat everything we put in front of you. I can't believe you have already started using the big potty sometimes. Just the other day you jumped and got both feet off the ground for the first time! And I stopped counting the number of words in your vocabulary long ago. You have been putting 2, 3, and 4 words together this week to form phrases that verbalize your thoughts. The newest word in your arsenal? Microwave! I love how you watch out for your sister. I hope I never hold you back from reaching all your dreams. I haven't seen an obstacle you can't overcome so far. Keep running in life and I'll be right behind you.

To my baby girl Sara Makenzie...I prayed over you tonight before bedtime, thanking God for making you so strong. May you become a woman of great passion. Your personality has definitely been revealing a lot of spunk lately, especially as I've seen those fall on your face, screaming 'dada' tantrums. Your bright blue eyes light up when you giggle and I love your little voice that says 'gain after I tip you upside down--definitely my daredevil. You are a girl who knows what she wants. As for food, give you some bread, some fruit, top it off with dessert, and you will be set. Just tonight you ate strawberry shortcake and took 3 times longer than your brother because you had to lick the cool whip one finger scoop at a time. Somersaults, reading books, singing, and dancing are your favorite things right now. Your memory is rock solid and you named every animal in the bedtime book we read tonight--wild boar, panda, koala, beaver, monkey, penguin, goat, fox, doormouse! I hate it that you get woken up with bad dreams. In the future, call any time of the day or night and I'll be there to snuggle on the couch with you.

I hope some day you will both come to learn how much you have helped shape me into the person I am today.

I love you with all that I am.

Happy belated golden birthday to my two little treasures!

Love, Mama

P.S. Click the link at the top of the blog page to jump to our Picasa photo album and you can see pictures from the party or more recent photos as the twins journey through life.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Cheese and a wink

Adam's new cheesy smile continues to make appearances.

I guess on this instance it was "trade" night. We have had times lately when the kids like to switch. High chairs. Sleep sacks. The other night they traded pajama bottoms.

At the end of the meal, an extra dose of food found it's way into Adam's hair. In cleaning it out, I left it a little spiky. Mama's little heartthrob.

Look very closely...that's a wink in his right eye!

Puddle! Jump!

A few weeks ago, the kids had the opportunity to try out their new spring jackets and rain boots. Well, Adam got to try out his new rain boots and Sara was perfectly content with donning her pink winter boots. We are still on the lookout for rain boots for her. I'd rather she gets mud all over her winter boots than her Pumas.

They were so excited to splash in the puddles. They may not be speaking full sentences but they know which words to piece together to convey their thoughts. When Shannon came home that night, we sat around the dinner table together and I asked the kids if they told Dad what they did today. They piped right up - "Puddle! Jump!"

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

How many does it take?

When I post a photo of the kids together that turns out pretty well, do you ever wonder how many photos it took to get to one that might be usable? Shannon and I thought it would be funny to post our latest journey for a decent shot to use for their 2 year old photo. This is like 'how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop?' Only 19 tries this time around--that's actually quite good!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Da Da Dance

The kids have been doing a whole lot of dancing and singing lately. They even sit in their high chairs around mealtimes and make up songs. It's one of the few times that they say absolutely no understandable words and are making something up. They move their arms around and, of course, Sara has to be pointing a finger.

We have deemed this the Da Da Dance...went on for the better part of 20 minutes one day.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

New bikini

I love the semi-annual sale that the Peoria Mothers of Twins/Triplets organizes. I have posted about it before and always find some great items.

Only one big thing I bought this spring - a 3 tiered shelf with bins to store the kids toys. We are trying to organize more and they can find things to play with easier.

My favorite purchase? Sara's new bikini. I was so excited I found it, I was giddy. Then somehow it fell off my basket at the sale. I looked everywhere and was so disappointed I started moping around. I expressed my sadness to a triplet mom and it's a good thing I did...she saw it laying on the floor and had set it aside on a table for me. Kirsten's the bomb!

Sara had to show off her new sandals, too. Check out Adam's new rainboots...dinosaurs. He wears them all the time, inside and out! They make his feet so sweaty. And, yes, he can say the word "sweaty."


Sara has figured out how to do a somersault! We need to get this girl in tumbling. Adam caught on and joined in the fun, too.

They had another day after nap that they wanted to be in the same bed. Lots of good "saults" from Sara that day...

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


We took the easy road for many months and just called it nana.

Now that we have been tackling other more difficult words, we decided to give all 3 syllables a try. We celebrated success a few times and then it got a little out of control. It makes me laugh watching Sara think about it like she is saying it in her head before she spits the word out.