Saturday, April 17, 2010

Giving in to change

Well, I finally gave in.

My mom came down for a visit the week before the kids' birthday and we spent an afternoon setting up another crib.

It was hard. For a moment. It tugged at my heart to know that we were at the end of another phase that would never again return.

And I wondered how the kids would do with it. I mean, they had shared living quarters for a year and 6 months! No big deal, momma. Sara sleeps on her back, legs spread out, arms spread out. Adam tucks in a ball on his tummy, his butt in the air, with his puppy blanky. No worries.

And in the end, that's how I felt about it. No worries. No more rushing in the room when Sara started to make noise, wondering if Adam was crawling on her. It allowed him space to move around more and get settled in to sleep if he needed to. And he didn't have to crawl over Sara to stand at the side of the crib and wait for me to come in the room. It's funny that Adam doesn't lay down until Sara is in her crib. If I feed him first, he can be almost asleep and content, but as soon as I lay him down, he is standing at the side of the crib waiting for his sister to get tucked in to her crib next to him. I like that he watches out for her. That's a good big brother.

The other change that I made at about the same time was putting to bed the use of the input/output log sheets. When the kids were in the NICU, they had an I/O log that we would look at every time we visited. The nurses made notes as to how much their feeding was, what their diaper contained, whether they spit up, and any other pertinent bits of information. When we brought the kids home, Shannon and I decided to create a small ring binder with our own log of information. We recorded feedings and diapers, how long they slept, body temperature, medications, apneas or bradycardias that set off the monitor, the list goes on. Once I started nursing the kids it helped me keep track of which side to feed from next so I could alternate. It's not as easy to remember these things on extreme sleep deprivation. It helped Shannon and I communicate with each other as we would trade feedings - a good place to leave notes as the other person slept. As time went on, I recorded new foods they tried to make sure there were no allergies, and other developmental milestones. Once we got into a really good routine I felt like I didn't need it anymore to help me with their schedule. And they were getting old enough that I wasn't concerned about food allergies any more. I still have a hard time remembering which side to nurse each of them from but soon I won't have to worry about that, either. Lots of benefits to our little book and lots of information we tracked.

Now I need to make sure I have somewhere to write down all those firsts that are still to come. I think I will gather all the milestones and make one electronic file for future historical reference. It's funny how when you are in the moment you think you will never forget a memory you are experiencing. And then a month passes. I find myself so grateful for all the pictures and videos we have taken, as well as this blog. Sometimes I think I am just talking to myself and having an online journal. Every now and then I am reminded that for some crazy reason, there are folks who still find joy in following the happenings of all things Mollenhauer.

No comments: